Bilateral Decision

"As I run my hands through each blade of grass I can't help but notice my inescapable and tortuous position. Aside from the fact that my situation is out of my control and all I've known since birth. The sadness I feel daily has tormented me beyond what I'm now capable of enduring. My mother…... killed yesterday. My daughter……sold this morning. The same cows to the left of me grazing in the distance day after day. Oh, how I pray for the day I too can go and eat as I please, the same as the cows. Freedom. I long for it. I hope for it. I try to envision it. But are they truly free? Still owned and slaughtered every day. Maybe I was the same as the cow. My family also bought and disposed of. But the cows seemed to be free. But I suppose if they chose to run they too would be chased until captured same as me. Pain, sadness, and death are all I've ever known. That's all I will know. I'm tempted between escaping through the woods or creating my end to this horrific nightmare. Only a few have what it takes to take a blade to their neck and even fewer make it to the north. Either option seemed better than the life I live. Waiting to be sold or grow old and killed. Today I turn 28 and I only see two options: an immeasurable struggle for exoneration or my self-eradication."